After the newness of your relationship wears off, it will benefit the coupleship if you focus on what is working well in your connection with each other – relationships in integrity.
Healthy relationships start with compassion for your partner. It is a life skill that can apply to everyone. If you really want to improve your sense of self and work with others, it will begin by being gentle with yourself and those with whom you interact.
We live in a society where many people clarify and justify their positions by putting others down. This technique may help people to feel superior, but it divides people from working together and finding a common good. If you are unhappy in your job, it can be a normal human behavior to want to find fault with your boss, the administration or the corporate culture.
Quit in Retaliation
You may want to quit in retaliation. Yet you will have more integrity if you minimize your desire to be negative. Instead, focus on your decision to leave from a place of wanting to expand your abilities and your life circumstance. This can be especially tough to do when you have been wronged. It may feel natural to feel resentful, but this keeps you in a victim state.
When you operate from a place of concern, love and compassion, you’re much more likely to maintain integrity. This will encourage you to be a better coworker, a better partner or a better neighbor.
Although it is may be easier to put others down and to look for validation that you’ve been mistreated, that mentality works against you. Compassion promotes improved mental health and empowers you to really pay attention to your own goals and values as opposed to berating the other person.
How Do You Handle Poor Choices?
But how do you handle things when people around you are making poor choices?
Many people are triggered by social media. It is not uncommon to see all the poor choices people make. One woman complained to her friend that her separated husband was taking expensive vacations with other women while they were still married. This woman was in a fury because she had been betrayed. She vented her feelings of anger, sadness and loss with her friend and then shifted her focus.
After she worked through her grief, she decided to move on with her life. She decided that she wanted to heal, focus on her children, and stabilize her life so that she no longer had to be hyper-vigilant about what her husband was doing. This meant that she had to re-focus so that she no longer viewed herself in the victim role.
Turning Pain into Gain
In doing this, she decided to spend more time volunteering at a nonprofit and focused on how she could make a difference in other peoples’ lives. She was able to turn her pain into gain and move away from the victimization that she felt months before.
Maintaining your integrity and focusing away from the natural negativity will allow you to take back your life.
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