After you let it go, you can move on with your life and create the life that is worthy of the new and improved you!
Simple Formula
People want a simple formula for working through their past. They report that undesirable things have happened to them and they don’t know how to let go of the anger and sadness that typically accompanies a loss.
Perhaps this sounds like you. Have you been through a nasty divorce, the death of a loved one, or bankruptcy due to someone’s financial irresponsibility? Maybe there’s a family member who is estranged from you and these losses have really taken a toll on your psyche.
When bad things happen to good people you have to increase your resiliency so that you don’t stay wounded from the trauma. You need to navigate the trauma and drama of life.
Let It Go
Feel it. Look at it. Learn from it. And then let it go.
Take an uncomfortable situation and feel the feelings that accompany it. Perhaps you’re one of those unfortunate people that numbs out and you don’t feel the pain or the loss from life. If that is you, ask yourself what feeling should I be feeling, and then purposefully practice feeling the feeling. Acknowledging the pain will help you work through it and learn from it.
The Next Step
The next step is to look at the situation and assess how you may have contributed to the problem and why it may have happened to you. You may be saying that your husband cheating on you had nothing to do with you. In part you are right, but invariably we are all 100% responsible for our behavior.
There were some things that you could’ve done differently to avoid part of this pain. Maybe that required that you get out of denial and start listening to your intuition that was telling you years ago that something was wrong. Or maybe you resisted going to a counselor and getting marital help.
Ask These Questions
After you look at your potential contribution and assess it appropriately, ask yourself what did I learn from it? When you do this, it takes you out of the “victim” state. This requires you to ask yourself two very important questions: what does this have to teach me, and what have I learned from it?
When you ask yourself those questions, you put yourself in a place of empowerment. Once you understand what you have learned from the situation, you will likely never repeat it again. This means you will be more responsible with your finances or you’ll pick a better partner, or you will choose a better job.
Let It Go If You Haven’t Already
The last thing you want to do is to let the pain go. You no longer want to be held back by old feelings and past pain. This may require lots of visualization, journaling, self-reflection, support or prayer. Processing pain and trauma creates personal growth and makes a person stronger.
After you let it go, you can move on with your life and create the life that is worthy of the new and improved you!
This article touched me in a lot of ways. I have had to deal with a lot of things in my past, divorces, past mistakes, losses of loved ones, and this article was a great reminder of the things we need to do and continue to do in our life, to put the past, in the past where it belongs.
Absolutely. We are glad that you’ve found it helpful!
Great perspective into the playing the victim card. Very helpful.
Fantastic – thank you for leaving the comment!
Let it go!!
Absolutely!